I knew when I was asked to do this session I would have no words. I wasn’t sure if I would even blog it. Happiness is easy to translate. Words often aren’t necessary. But how do you translate hope? How do you translate a family’s journey through the darkest of days into an unknown future? I realized it isn’t my story to tell. I could never adequately verbalize the range of emotion in these images. There is nothing spectacular about them. They wouldn’t win any awards or put me in some sort of Hall of Fame… but I don’t think I have ever done anything more fulfilling than the work I have done with this family.

Most of you know Kristy. If you do, you know the journey her family has been on for the past 5 years and where they are now. I asked Kristy to guest author this blog post because I know how therapeutic it can be to share.

The images below are two separate events. Earlier this year Kristy and Scott decided to renew their vows. I never posted those images because it was such an intimate thing. Something held me back. I know now it was because this was the perfect moment. Tying together these sessions and letting Kristy share her story. It was and is her story to tell… The second set of images is from a family session we did just last week. The Higgins family is stepping into an unknown future. She wanted to make sure that no matter what… they would have something to look back on. Something she could give her son.

Here is her story… here is her journey…

“We’ve been living with brain cancer for almost 5 years. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t grieve the life we had planned together and the man with whom I fell in love. Neither are the same and will never be again. Our near future is uncertain and our time together has become incredibly short. Yet there’s always a silver lining to the darkest of storm clouds and if you’re lucky, you’ll spot a ray of sunshine off in the distance. Even though cancer is the scariest word in the English language and even scarier to live with, you learn a lot about
life and about the people that fill and fulfill your life. Blessings come in so many forms. Three come to mind as the most memorable.

Our biggest blessing is Alex. He arrived just after Scott was diagnosed. He gave us both a reason to get up in the morning and to be thankful for each day ahead, even if it was filled with doctors, radiation and chemo treatments. Alex has filled our hearts to the brim and has always kept our focus on what’s most important. He’s our ray of sunshine. I shutter to think where we’d be without him. He’s our biggest reason to smile. He truly saved us.

One night, sitting on the eleventh floor of the critical care tower at VCU, him from his hospital bed and I beside him, we seized the opportunity to say all of the things we never said but wanted to. Everyone is terminal. Most of us will never get the opportunity to say those things. But we did. You’d be surprised how much peace that gave us to get those things off of our chest and in our hearts. Because if either of us were to die tomorrow, no words were left unspoken. Blessing number two.

I’ve often said that people don’t understand the weight that wedding vows carry. It’s a time of celebration and you’re sure that love will get you through everything. But mostly you’re thinking that love will save you from infidelity, going broke, holding your partner’s hair as they worship the porcelain God or being lied to and losing trust. All are valid worries. But when you’re battling cancer you end up truly understanding for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health ’til death do you part. We survived ten years of marriage on April 2, 2015. Because of Scott’s cancer reoccurrence  we decided to renew our vows to one another and to secure the bond for the battles we had yet to face. Man were those vows heavy! Each word, individually, held a completely different meaning then it did 10 years ago. Especially ” ’til death do you part.” That was the hardest to say for me because there was such a finality to it, as if we were finally at the end. If you’ve been in a long marriage, renew your vows. You won’t regret it. You will feel the love radiating from yourself and your spouse with each word spoken. It will renew your faith in each other. It did for us. Blessing number three.

We have many more blessings in our life that would fill pages of an open book. I often try to think of them when we’re having a really bad day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. The point is that I try. To have blessings and to love is what this life is all about. Despite everything we’ve been through, including the heartache of potentially and inevitably losing my best friend, I wouldn’t change the life that I’ve lived with Scott. We have a beautiful marriage, a comfortable home, loving and supportive family and friends that are all worth their weight in gold. I’m glad I answered his email all those years ago, even when my sensible self told me not to. I’m glad the rebel won.

May your life be as blessed as ours.”